64. Disorganized crime
Posted on 26th Mar 2011, 1:15 AM in 3. At Twisters Borough

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64. Disorganized crime
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Morgenstern 26th Mar 2011, 1:15 AM edit delete
I've had this intent for a while now to code up a new layout--one with a sidebar to make room for various things, like my PayPal (because I'm a dancer for money, and any old song will do) and a list of webcomics I'd like to see peddled. Seeing as I'm lazy (consistently) and drunk (presently), this has not come to pass.

That being said, I intended to toss this list of webcomics onto my page like, months ago, and have yet to do so. I've been drinking, here's the list. The first section is webcomics hosted by ComicFury, so if you already have an account, you can subscribe to them. If you don't have an account, that means you haven't subscribed to my comic yet. You should go ahead and do those things.

ComicFury comics:
I R Lolita
The Other Grey Meat isn't actually a comic I read, but I hear it's really good.
Jellyfish Stew is pretty neat but updates... sporadically.

Non-ComicFury comics:
Dr. McNinja
Boxer Hockey
It Sucks to be Weegee

And maybe, by the grace of the gods, I didn't forget anybody and/or screw this HTML up. I'm sure everybody appreciates being now forever indirectly associated with what may well be the most offensive looking character I will ever draw in this comic.

Arrakis 26th Mar 2011, 1:36 AM edit delete reply
And so we learn what Birdo looks like...fairly disturbing O_o
MisterL 26th Mar 2011, 1:51 AM edit delete reply
Hide your kids, folks, Birdo is here!

Also, did I see some action-lines in the first panel? Nice :)
kromblite 26th Mar 2011, 1:52 AM edit delete reply
And here I thought it would be impossible to make birdo look cool.
Bonz0 26th Mar 2011, 1:53 AM edit delete reply
I am disappointed in the lack of jumping jacks and baseballs employed in the Charging Chuck's fighting style.

The Smash Bros. shout out, however, makes this page worthwhile.

Not much of a Birdo fan, but I know there is at least one guy on here who frequently mentioned that he wanted to see a Birdo in MG-ified, so I suppose this was inevitable. I just wish Birdo would have stayed in the world of Doki Doki Subcon and more interesting characters like Wart and the Phantos would have become Mario regulars instead.
indieposer 26th Mar 2011, 3:11 AM edit delete reply
That is gonna give me nightmares.
curse you morgenstern, curse you.
Aikidoka 26th Mar 2011, 3:46 AM edit delete reply
Word's can not describe how happy I am right now ^_^ Now, if we can just stop Miyamoto from undressing her.. I mean him with his eyes....
vash_ts 26th Mar 2011, 3:48 AM edit delete reply
ok now, guy...
where did you leave that chainsaw?
i think you are going to need it...
Spinnerlink 26th Mar 2011, 4:06 AM edit delete reply
*spoiler* go's got a fire flower

Proably not...

Well I guess the next comic is Mccoy's party or something.
Marcus 26th Mar 2011, 4:26 AM edit delete reply
Birdo's goons have kidnapped the Captain! Are you a bad enough Raven to save them?
Nolim 26th Mar 2011, 4:32 AM edit delete reply
It's gender debate time!
Grimlock13 26th Mar 2011, 4:40 AM edit delete reply
Now we see a birdo. Is it cool looking? Hell, yes. Is it pretty? No, unless if it's pretty disturbing.
frzyc 26th Mar 2011, 5:53 AM edit delete reply
how nice, I have read all those comics you suggested. like all of them except one. got a extended list? :D
Cassiopia 26th Mar 2011, 6:25 AM edit delete reply
Wow, birdo is... butch? camp? Nice way to reference the gender swap between translations.
Ps. I'll update Jellyfish Stew soon, I promise.
MDD 26th Mar 2011, 7:03 AM edit delete reply
i always found birdo strange, now i find it disturbing...
RavenUp 26th Mar 2011, 7:14 AM edit delete reply
Wait, bringing in birdo means that Yoshi is for sure in!!! Life made =D
Mythus 26th Mar 2011, 8:15 AM edit delete reply
I-is it...male or female?
Infamous Nefarious 26th Mar 2011, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
Infamous Nefarious
That's..... a dude. It's not a ribbon, it's totally a natural and organic fringe/fin type webbing growing from the back of all birdo's heads. I can tell by this guys attitude that I'm going to like him. I hope he's a reoccurring nussiance.
Knoppe 26th Mar 2011, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
Birdo looks......... so CREEPY
fuzzy 26th Mar 2011, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
that's not proper use of irony. Unless you were expecting all those comics to be crap of course :P
Also: yes. Birdo. Is. Disturbing.
Mihas 26th Mar 2011, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
I'm a little confused by what's going on in the second panel there. The captain threw a punch that Dazee avoided, yes, and Chuck is giving her the chair but what is happening with Chuck's face, it's a bit of a weird position for blood out of a broken nose and I don't understand what her eyes are doing either.
MeowMixIsForCats339 26th Mar 2011, 10:26 AM edit delete reply
My comments

1. Villians who attack their targets when they're drunk aren't clever, their lazy and cheap.

2. I am mentally scared by ANYTHING having to do with Birdo.
Gamegeneral 26th Mar 2011, 10:36 AM edit delete reply
That is the most fucking terrifying last panel I've ever seen.
Avari 26th Mar 2011, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
@ Mihas
I'm pretty sure that's a cut on the nose, not an actual nose bleed. Also, maybe the eyes are being squinty? >.< The lines seem a bit long for that though....
Morgenstern 26th Mar 2011, 10:48 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, it's a cut over the nose/squinty eyes.
Mutterscrawl 26th Mar 2011, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
That's the Smash Bros. Symbol on those crates!
LakituFan 26th Mar 2011, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
Do you know who I would love to see in the future of this comic? A lakitu. I mean, Lakitu is such a big part of the mario universe, there is no way you can skip over him. It'd be interesting how you would incorporate him into your universe, though.
Magravan 26th Mar 2011, 12:50 PM edit delete reply
Thanks for the shout out, even if you don't read our comic ;)

I think Birdo is going to haunt my dreams now...
CyberSkull 26th Mar 2011, 12:59 PM edit delete reply

So that's how your doing it.

Yeah, this is gonna haunt me.
Durndle 26th Mar 2011, 1:59 PM edit delete reply
As soon as Birdo called the Chargin' Chuck "Charlie", I couldn't help but hear the rest of it in Raocow's voice.
model S 27th Mar 2011, 3:13 AM edit delete reply
.... you've ruined my dreams for the rest of the year.... that's gonna haunt me.
Professional Mole 27th Mar 2011, 12:49 PM edit delete reply
I see you like Birdo without all that gender ambiguity, hm? O_O
Infamous Nefarious 27th Mar 2011, 12:54 PM edit delete reply
Infamous Nefarious
@Mihas: If you'll look close in the first panel, Martello bashes Charlie's face, not just into the bartop, but into a GLASS on the bartop... splitting the bridge of her nose, which I can tell you from experience is an UGLY injury to have. She's probably squinting because of all the blood from the nosebreak, and it looks like the glass shattered and cut up her cheeks and chin pretty good too. Morgen seems to draw this stuff straight out of my brain. And I've never even actually spoken to the guy!

@Morgenstern: The disturbed reactions of your readers definitely marks this as one of the better updates in my opinion. Make Birdo a reoccurring villain!
lil detail pointer-outer 27th Mar 2011, 1:12 PM edit delete reply
Heres a random question: what happened to Go's gloves? he was wearing them a couple comics back but when stating '...and thats why i dont eat mega mushrooms anymore' his hand is raised and THE GLOVE IS GONE
RavenUp 27th Mar 2011, 1:15 PM edit delete reply
@Infamous Nefarious
I agree. I always liked birdo as an enemy, and 'it' having minions just adds to 'it`s' overall badassness
Infamous Nefarious 27th Mar 2011, 2:14 PM edit delete reply
Infamous Nefarious
It's totally a dude. It's comedic irony. Has to be.
RavenUp 27th Mar 2011, 2:49 PM edit delete reply
@Infamous Nefarious
Actually Birdo was originaly a man, then changed to a girl , then back to a man, and and now has an undertermined gender.
S.O.U.P.ern00b 27th Mar 2011, 3:11 PM edit delete reply
Oh. my gosh. You actually made a Birdo character.
*inhales deeply* ..... AAAAAAAHHH! MY EYYYES! MYY BRAAAIIN! THE MEDICINE( tee hee mgs reference)!
Curse you Morgenstern! Curse you to a warm unpleasant place of indeterminate origin! Just kidding. Excellent comic!
Therazan 27th Mar 2011, 4:47 PM edit delete reply
Birdo with "her" ribbon and lipstick and male body frame is obviously an hermaphrodite... or a transvestite... or maybe both!

I SO MUCH DON'T KNOW! But for me, the "official" Birdo is a female, actually i thought it was only in Japan that Birdo was designated as male.
Morgenstern 27th Mar 2011, 5:30 PM edit delete reply
Go loses articles of clothing when he starts drinking, obviously

(This was not intentional but I am making it canon)

Also, Charlie's pretty squinty most of the time anyway.
Anonymous 27th Mar 2011, 5:39 PM edit delete reply
Anybody else not wanna see how Birdo is gonna shoot eggs?
Guest 27th Mar 2011, 6:00 PM edit delete reply
did anyone else think of the song sweet Transvestite when they saw Birdo? Now if you will excuse me I am going t get some eye bleach.
Triskelli 28th Mar 2011, 4:32 AM edit delete reply

Just... blergh! That's gonna need some quality bleach now. Excellent work addressing the innate creepiness of the character.
Cassiopia 28th Mar 2011, 6:19 PM edit delete reply
@Anonymous Oh why, why did you have to say that?
Therazan 28th Mar 2011, 6:33 PM edit delete reply
If Birdo shoots eggs, it HAS to be toward Go (a Toad) in a side-view pannel. À la Super Mario Bros 2.
Anonymous (again) 28th Mar 2011, 6:59 PM edit delete reply
@Cassiopia I personally don't find Birdo that disturbing save for that little concept, which I'm (some how) doing a very good job of not visualizing. I want to know who else isn't interested in seeing it.
Grimlock13 29th Mar 2011, 1:28 AM edit delete reply
@Anonymous (again)
Actually, I would like to see how Birdo does it. Sometime it's a curse to be curious.
MeowMixIsForCats339 29th Mar 2011, 7:55 AM edit delete reply
........So that's what Barney would have looked like if he stayed on drugs....

@Anonymous I bet our dear transvestite will shoot eggs out of a gun or something.

Where o where has my sanity gone...
Anonymous (third commet) 29th Mar 2011, 8:50 AM edit delete reply
@MeowMixIsForCats339 An egg gun? That wouldn't be so bad, until you start thinking about where the ammo comes from... On second thought, I'd rather just see Birdo shoot them [insert proper pronoun here]self. (I'll use an actual name next time I comment.)
Mr. Vareel 29th Mar 2011, 8:54 AM edit delete reply
(I'm the guy who did the last three anonymous comments.) AH! FAIL! I wrote "third commet", when I meant "third comment"! (I had planned on posting again soon, but not seconds later!)
Cassiopia 29th Mar 2011, 11:19 AM edit delete reply
Thanks for the shout-out, Morg! I got a new subscriber! (Does the new subscriber dance)
Spinnerlink 29th Mar 2011, 12:48 PM edit delete reply
Hey, guess what? I just made a profile and subscribed! But I am not doing a dance...
Mr. Vareel 29th Mar 2011, 2:34 PM edit delete reply
Just what does subscribing mean? In this particular instance, not a generic meaning. Does it cost money? What would I be getting out of it? That sort of thing.
Mr. Vareel 29th Mar 2011, 3:30 PM edit delete reply
I just thought of something. In the whole bar fight, while Charlie was pretty banged up, I didn’t see Haze get so much as scratched. Could Haze be the Guy of the Birdo gang? Albeit a Guy who hits more often and probably isn’t as good at dodging. And could this be because Haze is a Dayzee (Dayzees like to run away and thus are difficult to hit)? Bah, it makes sense in my head, but I can’t put it in writing.
Morgenstern 29th Mar 2011, 5:57 PM edit delete reply
Subscribing is completely free, and only requires you to make a ComicFury account (www.comicfury.com). Basically, ComicFury can let you know when comics you're subscribed to are updated--so you can subscribe to like, fifty bajillion bad ass ComicFury webcomcis, and not worry about missing updates and all that.

That, and having an account lets you participate on the ComicFury forums. And have a picture when you post comments. And if you're already looking at webcomics on ComicFury anyway (and you totally should be, wtfbbq webcomics are awesome), there's no reason not to have an account and/or subscribe to stuff. But it's totally free.

Also, much like bustin', subscribin' makes me feel good. ...Alot of you might be too young to get that joke. D:
Morgenstern 29th Mar 2011, 6:09 PM edit delete reply
Also, if anyone ever has to contact me directly, PM through ComicFury is presently the best way to do it.

My Hotmail account was kidnapped by ninjas, and I am not bad enough of a dude to save it.

Sidenote: Wednesday's comic will probably be posted like, halfway into Wednesday afternoon instead of the usual "sometime in the morning." Not late, just... not quite on time.
MeowMixIsForCats339 30th Mar 2011, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
@Anonymous Maybe Birdo has enslaved a Yoshi and gets the amo from there.
Ken_Cypher 30th Mar 2011, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
Yoshi and Birdo are two of the most gender ambiguous races in the Mario universe. Also, this is Comic 64. Where are all the N64 jokes? This is based on a Nintendo series, blast it! There needs to be N64 jokes on Comic 64!
Mr. Vareel 30th Mar 2011, 7:56 AM edit delete reply
@Morgenstern: Thanks for the explanation. I know a guy who works in computer security (in his own words, he gets paid to be paranoid), so I'm usually cautious about what I click on (especially if it possibly involves a fee). I feel much safer about the whole matter now, although I think I'll wait a while before I decide to make an account.

@MeowMixIsForCats339: You can use my name you know; I already said I made the anonymous comments (not the one made by “Guest” though). As for the enslaved Yoshi, I think the likelihood of that idea is less than 1% now, so unless the Heart of Gold (Don’t Panic!) passes by, it’s not going to happen. Now I feel bad, I’m ruining someone’s sense of creativity by giving them a reality check. On that note, will somebody comment on my Haze/Guy comparison? I want to know how crazy the idea is. Please feel free to harshly criticize it into oblivion. (I feel like I should prepare of hate mail from this comment.)
Mr. Vareel 30th Mar 2011, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
(This is the second time I've had to correct a comment seconds after I posted it. I hope this doen't become a habit.) In the last line on my last comment, I wrote "I feel like I should prepare of hate mail from this comment." That "of" should have been "for".
MeowMixIsForCats339 :P 30th Mar 2011, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
@Ken_Cypher You want an N64 joke? Here's one!

Navi: "Knock knock"
Link: "......"
Navi: "Link, this is where you say'who's there?' Try again. Knock knock."
Link: "......."
Navi: "Hey, Listen! This is a knock knock joke. It takes two people to do it, so come on! KNOCK KNOCK."
Link: "......."
Navi: "........Fine. You asked for it. HEY HEY LOOK LISTEN LINK HEY HEY HEY HEY"


Or did you want one relating to Mario?

(My name is slightly different 'cause I'm afraid that my other comments will be erased. 0.0)
MeowMixIsForCats339 :P 30th Mar 2011, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
@Mr.Vaeeel Oh hey! Nice to see you got a user name!
Sorry for not adresing you as such. I have a bad habit of not reading all of the comments before posting my own :p
Spinnerlink 30th Mar 2011, 9:04 AM edit delete reply
I just checked and found there on 200 subscriptions to mushroom go! i was the 198th...

I checked after i subscribed too.
MeowMixIsForCats339 30th Mar 2011, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
@Morgenstern It's taking so long for you to post a comic that it's actually started to SNOW again! Hurry up! My three out-door Ducks can't take the cold anymore!

@Mr.Vaeeel "Now I feel bad" is not an apology. Also, Heart of Gold?
Mr. Vareel 30th Mar 2011, 9:50 AM edit delete reply
Another crazy idea just surfaced (completely unrelated to the current event)! If the Chainless crew encountered Mario, they'd all die (with the possible exception of Go, who might be imprisoned). But what would happen if they encountered Luigi? Luigi is just as skilled at the Old Art as Mario (or pretty damn close at the least) and is a close match in fighting (maybe better, maybe worse), but is much more friendly and less likely to kill the group. (I’ll probably post another comment correcting some grammar error. Can you edit your comments if you have an account?)
Bonz0 30th Mar 2011, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
I don't think Haze is really that great at dodging. He might be one of the best out of the characters we've seen so far but you have to remember that Martello is drunk. Haze probably stood back and let Charlie fight Martello in a one on one fight so he wouldn't get in her way. So she didn't go after Haze until after she thought Charlie was knocked out. At this point she was both drunk and worn out from the previous fight.
Spinnerlink 30th Mar 2011, 10:20 AM edit delete reply
Seriously? No one thinks the that is a good thing? Mushroom Go is only behind "the other grey meat" in all time popualar. Oh and post a new comic already!
RavenUp 30th Mar 2011, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
PLEASE UPDATE!!!!! i feel seriously deprived of all comic CAUSE NO ONE HAS UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!
Navi says POST! 30th Mar 2011, 11:18 AM edit delete reply
Morgenstern 30th Mar 2011, 11:19 AM edit delete reply
It's on its way.

The new villain is falling in line with the traditions of the last villain--i.e., being really fun to draw, but an incredible pain in the ass to sit down and color.
Bonz0 30th Mar 2011, 11:26 AM edit delete reply
New villain? Argh, now you're just making the wait even worse!
Leif 30th Mar 2011, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
Come on post!
crimey 30th Mar 2011, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
Give us a new comic or else we will realise the goombas!
Morgenstern 30th Mar 2011, 12:18 PM edit delete reply
Nah, by new villain I just meant the Birdo.

Birdo = Suck to color. Will be posting literally minutes from now, though, if not seconds.
Mr. Vareel 30th Mar 2011, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
@MeowMixIsForCats339: (Would have posted sooner, but something came up.)(You wrote "@Mr. Vaeeel", and I'm assuming that's me.) You're right; it's not an apology. But I wasn't sure one was necessary. Sorry about any confusion and sorry if my comment seemed harsh. As for the Heart of Gold (this was mainly an in-joke), you'll want to consult a copy of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy to find out about it.
MeowMixIsForCats339 30th Mar 2011, 4:07 PM edit delete reply
@Mr.Vareel sorry about the name mix-up. and sorry for possibly makeing you feel bad. I have an older brother so I tend to make people feel bad about stupid things. By the way, don't be sorry for giving me a reality ckeck. It's nice to have somebody respond to my comments. And Kudos for the reference.
Zephirot93 1st Apr 2011, 8:33 PM edit delete reply
Sexiest Birdo. Ever.
MeowMixIsForCats339 2nd Apr 2011, 8:18 AM edit delete reply
@Zephirot93 obviously, you are drunk.